[ in the few moments that he comes back to swordhaus, it's to raid their kitchens, bit by bit — from all 3 apartments, too. anyway, he's just chomping along, trying to feed his invisible, wispy bird creature sitting on the counter. (which ignores him for the billionth time, and why is he just holding up food in the air like a fool, right?)
but when he sees naki step in, he immediately leaps up from his seat, making his way over with some unusual urgency in his step; but if naki (or smallest fox, or both) get a proper look at his face, there's none of his usual cheerfulness, although he also doesn't seem mad in any way...
without a word, tsurumaru's going to press him against his chest with one hand, ruffling his hair over and over with the other, as if headpats are enough to fill the dark void of death.
[he'd been hoping for a small snack, something for himself and fox and the shy wispy cat that's started following him around. the only thing he's eaten since he returned was that little plate of treats kashuu brought earlier, because he'd been holing himself away in his room this whole time, but. well. being a living breathing tsukumogami means he probably shouldn't keep sitting around like the display sword he used to be. he's okay! he's fine!
probably.
he's working on it.
anyway, the sudden rush from tsuru is shocking enough he just sort of freezes on the spot, unable (and maybe kind of unwilling) to stop the headpats! the lack of tsuru's usual cheer is definitely noticeable though, and while naki submits himself to the fussing, burying his face in the other sword's chest (it's comforting, somehow), the fox - unwilling to move even a few inches from his companion - carefully adjusts his position on his perch.]
Ah...Nakigitsune is glad to see you as well, Tsurumaru-dono.
[ naki can take as long as he wants — tsuru is fine with that, continuing to ruffle his hair for a few more seconds, before moving his hand over naki's back, alternating between pats and light rubs. it's a soothing motion that the sanjous had done it a lot for him when he was little, to calm him and to make him go to sleep, so it should work on naki... nevermind the fact that neither of them are so little anymore!
it's mostly because he doesn't know what else to do; he's unable to empathize, since he doesn't know what it's like to die. he's unable to understand, since he isn't like naki, shut away behind glass without any interactions with the outside world. he's been in and out, and naki's naivety is something that tsuru has lost a long time ago.
intent on keeping naki where he is for now, he continues doing his best to fill the death void with various pats. there's a glance towards smallest fox though, and there's worry in his gaze. ]
[well. he's not sleeping, but whatever tsuru's doing definitely feels really soothing...nobody's ever done this for him before. it's an unfamiliar feeling from an unexpected action, and honestly he'd been planning to....he's not sure what he was planning to do, but. it's tempting, suddenly, to just lean into this and let himself forget everything for a little while. just another minute. as long as you'll let him.
smallest fox, for once, isn't actually sure what to say--what do you say to death? if this were any other situation he might have complained about the danger, the suddenness of it all, the enemies they could not defeat--but.
after a moment, nakigitsune reluctantly unburies his face--turning it just enough so his words won't be muffled by tsuru's shirt.]
I don't know.
[the fox droops a little at that, even as he scrambles to pick up the slack on his speaking role.] It--it was very sudden. All of it.
[ for a sword that seems like a child himself, he knows more about child care and child care accessories than he lets on. and despite how they're both 900+, seeing naki as a child is something that comes... sort of naturally, actually. this is why he wins Top Kouhai spot.
so naki gets a slightly tighter squeeze when for once — he, and not smallest fox, speaks up, as tsurumaru continues to pat his back. ] I see.
[ of course naki doesn't know, if it was sudden and everything was happening all at once; surprising situations aren't... always exciting, after all, and he doesn't expect a display sword like naki to understand the situation entirely.
[there's a short silence before either of them answers--a moment to get their thoughts together, to try to explain what exactly happened when neither of them is entirely sure.]
We ran into a hallway...I don't remember it seeming any different from any other halls, and yet--when we entered.....
[ and for a moment or two, it's just "oh", because what else should he do? this cheering up thing isn't really tsurumaru's forte... but, you know, he still wants to make an effort! so he's just going to offer his personal way of dealing with Sad Things and Sad Thoughts —
which is... what he was in the middle of doing earlier before naki showed up, actually... just stress eat all your problems away, everything will be a-okay. ]
[the offer gets...a nod! stress eating your problems away sounds like a perfect solution to naki, especially considering he doesn't know what other solutions there would be. he likes sweets! he's not sure if he's hungry? maybe eating stuff will be a good distraction.
tsuru probably knows better than he does in this respect, anyway.]
[ just trust tsuru-senpai, he knows what he's doing!! even if some of what he does is questionable... such as snatching a few casings of castella from mutsu's secret stash, along with some other semi-fluffy treats, such as baumkuchen and sponge cakes and roll cakes in several different flavors.
so he reaches for the fluffiest castella, unwrapping it halfway so that naki can hold the bottom of it without getting his hands dirty. who needs forks when you can just eat roll cakes like sub sandwiches, anyway? ]
Here, try this — and don't tell Mutsu, okay? Food always tastes better when you take it from people.
[naki might normally have been a little bit unsure about stealing from mutsu's secret stash, but right now....he stares down at the fluffy cake in his hands, squeezing it very slightly just to feel that fluffy softness, and takes a tiny bite.
it's tasty....more tiny bites. they'll be cake thieves together!]
[ it's fine, mutsu won't know! and even if he finds out that some are missing, there's no way that poor, innocent naki could have possibly eaten one!
but at the moment that naki bites into the castella, tsuru's little wispy bird will bump its head against naki's hand, as if also asking for some castella... it really wants some, even though it can't be seen!! in exchange, it brings naki one of tsuru's rarer, more pleasant memories.
meanwhile, tsurumaru's going to suddenly slip a hand over his own mouth, holding his stomach with the other, his half-eaten roll of castella lying on the table between them. ]
I think — [ a pause, as he tries to make sure that nothing comes up. ] — this cake... What's the expiration date on this thing? Can you check?
[ah...naki can't see the bird, doesn't realize anything's there--doesn't actually hear tsuru because suddenly he's seeing a much smaller tsuru and snow and love and mikazuki's arms and--as he stands there, frozen, staring off at nothing, his wispy cat hops up onto the table to inspect tsuru's abandoned roll, brushing past his arm in the process.
look, a broken sword! a broken sword, and an instant of confusion and surprise before everything fades away.
naki sways, falling back to a vaguely seated position on the floor.]
[ why is he seeing so many memories of swords breaking, shame shame shame on the pain demons
but despite what little tsuru knows of sword death, even he understands what he's seeing, though he doesn't know where — there's naki's blade, breaking into pieces and naki's spirit, subsequently fading. but smallest fox is still there, somehow...
he snaps back to reality when he hears the small thump of naki falling back — instantly moving around the table to crouch down next to him, castellas briefly forgotten. shaking him is probably a bad idea... but tsuru is shaking him anyway; gently, while gripping naki's upper arm. ]
Naki— hey, Naki! [ and then, turning towards smallest fox, ] Is he okay?
surprisingly, despite falling backwards naki is still holding on to his own castella--though his fingers might've made dents in it. ah, he feels weird, the gentle shaking isn't really helping...fox goes down onto the floor between his legs, avoiding the shaking and getting a better view of the sword's face.]
He's...he is alright. Just...shaken?
[naki doesn't answer, but he does slowly turn his gaze from the fox on the floor back up to tsuru again.
[ oh... is he shaken because tsurumaru was, in fact, shaking him? he should probably stop shaking him... yes... so he lets go of naki's arm for now, but is unmoving otherwise, sitting with his hands in his lap as he tries to figure out how to word something.
there's no easy way to word it at all, though, so instead he just gathers up all of his courage, looks naki in the eye, and... here goes! ]
I saw you dying.
[ quietly, as if he's still thinking on the spot, despite his best efforts. talking about actual death is not the same as talking about his casual desires for death, and his words are curt and disjointed and very unlike him, even though he's trying, but it's hard. it's scary. talking about death this way is scary. ]
Not back then — I mean, right now. I saw your blade rusting.
[it's true, he's mostly just shaken because tsuru's shaking him...he's fine, everything's fine, aside from that momentary uncomfortable feeling when tsuru touched his wispcat and the confusion from seeing that memory of tiny tsuru--but then big tsuru speaks again, and he freezes, eyes wide.
naki opens his mouth...doesn't close it....what is he supposed to say? he still doesn't know how he felt about the whole thing himself, and now tsuru saw it too somehow, and--
the fox climbs back into his lap, body close to his. it's comforting.
[ he's grateful when naki mentions the snow, because now he can turn all of his Death Problems into Schrodinger's Death Problems by brushing them beneath the rug and pretending like they're not there. and now naki, too, can learn this unhealthy coping method from his trusted senpai!
he's also trying to look out — for now, repeatedly mentioning death to a sword that's never known much of the outside world isn't exactly wise.
as for the snow, it's... a vague description, but he doesn't associate snow with anything bad in particular.
nonetheless, his words continue to be spoken gently, as if he's still trying to be cautious. ]
Then, you mean... the time I got lost in the snow — when I was younger, I mean.
[ when he was just a tiny crane baby! thinking about it makes him nostalgic, because everything was simpler when it could be solved with crying and soft sleeves.
but, also: ] You've never played in the snow before, have you?
[ he'd assume not... but who knows! naki might surprise him. ]
Not you either, mister fox? I thought you'd have some experience with the outdoors, being a fox and all. Is that not true?
[ or was fox reincarnated as a spirit with naki spirit? who knows... but, he turns to address naki once more, pinky out! pinky promise him! ]
Then, if it ever snows here, promise me that you'll go outside and play in the snow with me, okay? I'll show you how to make snowballs and snow angels and everything.
[fox doesn't answer that...he didn't make it to winter? a tiny fox with a short life. but naki stares at the pinky for a moment! holds out his own pinky!
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timeasmymeasure
action ▶ post-interlude / during event 30
Date: 2016-06-08 03:53 am (UTC)but when he sees naki step in, he immediately leaps up from his seat, making his way over with some unusual urgency in his step; but if naki (or smallest fox, or both) get a proper look at his face, there's none of his usual cheerfulness, although he also doesn't seem mad in any way...
without a word, tsurumaru's going to press him against his chest with one hand, ruffling his hair over and over with the other, as if headpats are enough to fill the dark void of death.
and, well — hello to you as well, smallest fox. ]
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Date: 2016-06-08 07:57 am (UTC)probably.
he's working on it.
anyway, the sudden rush from tsuru is shocking enough he just sort of freezes on the spot, unable (and maybe kind of unwilling) to stop the headpats! the lack of tsuru's usual cheer is definitely noticeable though, and while naki submits himself to the fussing, burying his face in the other sword's chest (it's comforting, somehow), the fox - unwilling to move even a few inches from his companion - carefully adjusts his position on his perch.]
Ah...Nakigitsune is glad to see you as well, Tsurumaru-dono.
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Date: 2016-06-08 11:34 pm (UTC)it's mostly because he doesn't know what else to do; he's unable to empathize, since he doesn't know what it's like to die. he's unable to understand, since he isn't like naki, shut away behind glass without any interactions with the outside world. he's been in and out, and naki's naivety is something that tsuru has lost a long time ago.
intent on keeping naki where he is for now, he continues doing his best to fill the death void with various pats. there's a glance towards smallest fox though, and there's worry in his gaze. ]
Was it scary?
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Date: 2016-06-09 06:59 am (UTC)smallest fox, for once, isn't actually sure what to say--what do you say to death? if this were any other situation he might have complained about the danger, the suddenness of it all, the enemies they could not defeat--but.
after a moment, nakigitsune reluctantly unburies his face--turning it just enough so his words won't be muffled by tsuru's shirt.]
I don't know.
[the fox droops a little at that, even as he scrambles to pick up the slack on his speaking role.] It--it was very sudden. All of it.
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Date: 2016-06-12 05:39 am (UTC)so naki gets a slightly tighter squeeze when for once — he, and not smallest fox, speaks up, as tsurumaru continues to pat his back. ] I see.
[ of course naki doesn't know, if it was sudden and everything was happening all at once; surprising situations aren't... always exciting, after all, and he doesn't expect a display sword like naki to understand the situation entirely.
but he's here and alive now, so it's fine. ]
Your blade, how did it —
[ ...break? ]
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Date: 2016-06-13 04:21 am (UTC)We ran into a hallway...I don't remember it seeming any different from any other halls, and yet--when we entered.....
[another pause.]
.........It shattered.
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Date: 2016-06-13 06:58 pm (UTC)[ and for a moment or two, it's just "oh", because what else should he do? this cheering up thing isn't really tsurumaru's forte... but, you know, he still wants to make an effort! so he's just going to offer his personal way of dealing with Sad Things and Sad Thoughts —
which is... what he was in the middle of doing earlier before naki showed up, actually... just stress eat all your problems away, everything will be a-okay. ]
Do you want something sweet to eat?
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Date: 2016-06-13 09:45 pm (UTC)tsuru probably knows better than he does in this respect, anyway.]
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Date: 2016-06-13 11:16 pm (UTC)so he reaches for the fluffiest castella, unwrapping it halfway so that naki can hold the bottom of it without getting his hands dirty. who needs forks when you can just eat roll cakes like sub sandwiches, anyway? ]
Here, try this — and don't tell Mutsu, okay? Food always tastes better when you take it from people.
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Date: 2016-06-14 04:04 am (UTC)it's tasty....more tiny bites. they'll be cake thieves together!]
Thank you very much, Tsurumaru-dono...
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Date: 2016-06-16 05:27 am (UTC)but at the moment that naki bites into the castella, tsuru's little wispy bird will bump its head against naki's hand, as if also asking for some castella... it really wants some, even though it can't be seen!! in exchange, it brings naki one of tsuru's rarer, more pleasant memories.
meanwhile, tsurumaru's going to suddenly slip a hand over his own mouth, holding his stomach with the other, his half-eaten roll of castella lying on the table between them. ]
I think — [ a pause, as he tries to make sure that nothing comes up. ] — this cake... What's the expiration date on this thing? Can you check?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 08:31 pm (UTC)look, a broken sword! a broken sword, and an instant of confusion and surprise before everything fades away.
naki sways, falling back to a vaguely seated position on the floor.]
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Date: 2016-06-17 06:30 am (UTC)but despite what little tsuru knows of sword death, even he understands what he's seeing, though he doesn't know where — there's naki's blade, breaking into pieces and naki's spirit, subsequently fading. but smallest fox is still there, somehow...
he snaps back to reality when he hears the small thump of naki falling back — instantly moving around the table to crouch down next to him, castellas briefly forgotten. shaking him is probably a bad idea... but tsuru is shaking him anyway; gently, while gripping naki's upper arm. ]
Naki— hey, Naki! [ and then, turning towards smallest fox, ] Is he okay?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-19 11:15 pm (UTC)surprisingly, despite falling backwards naki is still holding on to his own castella--though his fingers might've made dents in it. ah, he feels weird, the gentle shaking isn't really helping...fox goes down onto the floor between his legs, avoiding the shaking and getting a better view of the sword's face.]
He's...he is alright. Just...shaken?
[naki doesn't answer, but he does slowly turn his gaze from the fox on the floor back up to tsuru again.
????]
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Date: 2016-06-22 05:48 am (UTC)there's no easy way to word it at all, though, so instead he just gathers up all of his courage, looks naki in the eye, and... here goes! ]
I saw you dying.
[ quietly, as if he's still thinking on the spot, despite his best efforts. talking about actual death is not the same as talking about his casual desires for death, and his words are curt and disjointed and very unlike him, even though he's trying, but it's hard. it's scary. talking about death this way is scary. ]
Not back then — I mean, right now. I saw your blade rusting.
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Date: 2016-06-22 08:49 pm (UTC)naki opens his mouth...doesn't close it....what is he supposed to say? he still doesn't know how he felt about the whole thing himself, and now tsuru saw it too somehow, and--
the fox climbs back into his lap, body close to his. it's comforting.
he closes his mouth again.]
.......I...saw snow.
[is that even what he meant to say? a mystery.]
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Date: 2016-06-24 05:02 am (UTC)he's also trying to look out — for now, repeatedly mentioning death to a sword that's never known much of the outside world isn't exactly wise.
as for the snow, it's... a vague description, but he doesn't associate snow with anything bad in particular.
nonetheless, his words continue to be spoken gently, as if he's still trying to be cautious. ]
Nothing bad happened in the snow, right?
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Date: 2016-06-26 12:07 am (UTC)Mikazuki-san found you.
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Date: 2016-06-30 07:08 pm (UTC)[ when he was just a tiny crane baby! thinking about it makes him nostalgic, because everything was simpler when it could be solved with crying and soft sleeves.
but, also: ] You've never played in the snow before, have you?
[ he'd assume not... but who knows! naki might surprise him. ]
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Date: 2016-07-01 04:17 pm (UTC)fox takes this chance to speak up again.]
Nakigitsune does not have much experience with snow...neither do I, for that matter.
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Date: 2016-07-03 02:09 am (UTC)[ or was fox reincarnated as a spirit with naki spirit? who knows... but, he turns to address naki once more, pinky out! pinky promise him! ]
Then, if it ever snows here, promise me that you'll go outside and play in the snow with me, okay? I'll show you how to make snowballs and snow angels and everything.
no subject
Date: 2016-07-04 05:52 pm (UTC)looks back up at tsuru????]
...I promise.